An introduction to my deconstruction.
I have been thinking a lot lately. A lot about myself. Thinking negatively, thinking positively. Where has this trail of thought led me? Simple. It has led me to a desire to change. A desire to become something I’ve always dreamed about, but never put into action. A dream I thought would never be a reality. However, how can something turn into a reality unless it has been sought after and proved. A reality of ultimate happiness. People will say that ultimate happiness does not exist, that one individual person can never reach a state of ultimate emotion. No matter how happy or sad, confused or intrigued a person is that they can never reach the last possible amount of emotion available. That is it only a figment of the imagination, which allows people to experience that moment but never 100% engulf their every being in it. Maybe this is true, but I’m not going to stop until I’ve proved it to myself. I may never reach the ultimate, but I will certainly reach a peak of happiness trying. Maybe even a peak of sadness. Although, I do truly believe that once a person has hit the bottom, the only way is up. The higher you reach, the harder you try, the greater you become.
I have grown up in a strange emotional manner, at least it was strange to me. I have had ups and downs, like every other person in this world. I have been looking back lately, questioning how I have handled these emotions. Each event in my life has either constructed my mindset or led me to reconstruct it. Where does this leave me now? Motivated. I’m motivated to fix my flaws, my weaknesses, but also improve on what has got me this far in my life. For every negative thing my mind thinks is in my life right now, it also thinks about the positive things. I know I’m not perfect, nobody is. These thoughts have led me to realise that I need to do what makes me happy. It may not be easy and it will certainly take time. I’m in a phase of deconstruction. My house was built from Pebble Stone. It’s time I realised I don’t like Pebble Stone, I’m more of a French Chateau kind of guy. Brick by brick will be knocked, but for each Pebble Stone that is demolished, a new French Chateau is constructed. This makes me happy.
A new beginning. Deconstruction through the means of a new construction. I’m excited, are you?